Catshit

Ichsan’s Diary,

15^th of April, 2006,

Gumpang, Solo

A putrid smell greets my nose, and as I scanned to seek its’ source I found a brown disgusting mucky thick fluid on the carpet we all know to be cat’s dropping. It stinks, really, I could remember its’ vile smell even as I type these words. For all of you who keep your pets at home, something like this tends to happen. Hence comes the phrase: ‘shit happens!’

I used to keep cats at home when I was a kid, but I never let them in my house. I just leave them to sleep, prowl and play on my porch and my garden. Never bothering to teach them to toilet or the bath them. They know how to do it naturally. But what happens if you let them in? Without toilet training or a box of sand, these felines tend to drop their load to something they think as synthetic grass – carpet.

And that’s what happened. I had three cats. All of them from the same mama. The single male was called Max and his sisters were Fatty and Whitey. I let Max play in my house once. But after I closed the door, he seemed to panic and considered the house to be a prison. As like humans, cats can also relieve their tenseness by excreting. And so he did it, right on our expensive Iranian carpet!

It was awful! It’s terrible! I didn’t want to get scolded by my parents for letting the cat in. And thank goodness they were away. So I called my main man, Kiron to do the tedious task of scrubbing and sterilizing the carpet. And despite being his young Saheb, I felt sorry for the poor bloke to order him do such a task. After all, it had the stinkiest smell I’ve ever smelled out of any sort of poop. And to task him with such a job, well, is kinda inhuman.

That happened ages ago, and now as I typed these words, I face another problem. I now reside on a boarding house. The house-owner kept cats as pets, but I think that they are more of a pest than a pet. Unlike my cats that I had, these cats are utterly useless. My cats would hunt mice for food as because I only give them leftovers. Pest problems are thus solved. But in this boarding house, the lady of the house would spoil the cats by preparing special food for them. She would buy 1kg of fish and feed it to her 12 cats.

I don’t give a damn if the cats were pedigree breeds, like the Siamese or the Persian, but these were all alley cats, the ones that were meant to hunt and rid the neighborhood off rats and mice. And for me, twelve is a lot of cats, especially if the house that we live in isn’t cleaned regularly. The lady would spoil them with feeding until they lose their natural talents for the kill.

Every night, rats and mice would sneak into the kitchen and make a row, bang saucepans, knock off jars and bottles, and squeak like hell. But the lazy cats would go on sleeping while they should be prowling.

Back home, my cat was a killer. He would hunt for mice on the attic, and use his God-given peripherals (retractable claws, sharp teeth, night-vision eyes, ultra sensitive moustache and super acrobatic build! Not to mention extra 9 lives, just in case shit happens!) and now and then I could see him munch a rat. Crunch crunch! He went, and personally, I think he really liked it. Poor Jerry! He didn’t have any luck on escaping this Tomcat!

That’s the good thing in controlling your cats’ diet. Feed him leftovers just to keep him alive, and if he wants some extra fat let it seek for itself. In return, you get a free pest control in your home.

For all of you who give an extra care on your cats, feeding ‘em rich foods, keeping ‘em fat, cute and cuddly. Hey, its your money, your hobby, your love and I have no business in telling you what to do. But before you buy those expensive cat foods, remember that in this world, there are many men who have little to eat. And remember that the money you spent to buy cat/dog-food at the supermarkets, could feed a poor family for a week! Think about it.